Desperately Seeking Direction
It took me three hours to find my way home from Richmond once. There was no traffic, I just got lost. That was about ten years ago and my family still "lovingly" remind me of it.
Having ZERO sense of direction sucks. Helpfully, I was given a GPS - the answer to all my problems! But no. It's a massive failure. The delight with which I set off on that first journey is memorable and things were great, until I left Ladner. And then things fell apart. I continue to use my GPS but the same routine begins at almost the same point in the journey ie the minute the GPS says anything I don't already know.
The script begins with an instruction like "in 400 yards turn right". However I'll be busy talking or wishing the thing spoke with the voice of James Brown or Sean Connery so I won't quite catch what it said. However I usually "have a feeling it's this way" so I make the turn as I see fit. Suddenly, all is unfamiliar. That's when the cold sweat breaks out and my stomach plummets into my boots. "This way" no longer feels right.
By now the GPS is busy recalculating it's position and won't speak to me so again, I veer off in an attempt to get back on track. Usually around now the thing starts saying "when safe to do so, turn round". Sounds sensible I know. But it's usually referring to where I was pre-veer so I just decide to carry on regardless and wait for it to recalculate again.
It's a nightmare. It's making my pulse race and my head throb just thinking about it. Obviously - what I need to do is stop. Just STOP. I need to make space in my mind to hear what it's telling me and listen (not talk or get caught up in wondering "just how far is 400 yards anyway"). It's really quite simple.
You can see where I'm going with this can't you? It's the same in my conversations with God. I submit my requests and then off I go, doing whatever I feel like and expecting a burning bush or authoritative ethereal voice (yes, perhaps even the voice of Sean Connery) to make a very obvious appearance but how I expect to hear anything when I fill my life with noise I don't know.