The Same, But Different
I know you won’t believe this but I have JUST learned – at the age of 43 – that there is more than one right way to do stuff. Who knew! I’m also loving how different one thing can appear to different people. The picture to your right for instance demonstrates how one person's "invisible mending" is another person's OCD nightmare. Things like this keep me up at night.
Yesterday I was sitting on my deck, admiring the agility of our resident squirrel (his name is Steve by the way). He bounded from the roof, squiggled along the top of the open door, leapt onto the barbecue handle and then onto the railing. I was terribly impressed when he took what I presumed to be a flying saltate of some finesse onto something below the rail that I couldn’t see. However, according to Chris, who was sitting beneath the deck – Steve just fell off the deck and made a resounding thunk on a metal pipe. Apparently a stunned squirrel has an interesting expression – see squirrel expression guide below.
I also learned that day that if you look as if you know what you’re doing, and do it confidently, people usually just notice the dexterity and skill with which you operate and not so much the shattering of your pride when you fail. Speaking of pride – I had been praying for help with that and my prayer was answered with the appearance of a picture in the Optimist on Wednesday. Yup. Pride problem is solved for sure.
In case you’re wondering, Chris often sits under our deck. He will tell you he has a forge but I just call it a fire hazard. I don’t really know what he does down there. I know he melts metal and creates things like this but whenever I ask him he says it’s “none of my bismuth”.
I enjoy reading the real estate listings for the same reason. The “delightfully bijou modern residence” is just a ridiculously small pre-fab shed. The “countryside atmosphere” means the place REEKS for half the year and best of all I saw the term “heritage building with an atmosphere reminiscent of Ladner’s early years”. Guess what that is? It’s a shack directly opposite the fish factory.
Well, I better get going. After all – I have many other interests – I play the harp beautifully (I wear lipstick while using the top of the harp as a drum), loving mother (shouting female with children), accomplished singer (I have accomplished mediocrity) and charming and efficient Parish Administrator (person who sits in the office at a church and smiles occasionally at something she finds on Facebook).