“For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing”. 2 Corinthians 2:15
The skunkiness is slowly dissipating but I still feel I take the smell everywhere I go. For some unfathomable reason my left hand still smells quite bad and for some reason I CAN NOT stop sniffing at it. There’s some irresistible urge to see if the smell is still present. I’ve found myself in Save-on, among normal people, taking a whiff of my hand and then making an “ewwwwww!” face. It’s become a habit and it’s embarrassing.
Yesterday I went for a walk along the dyke by River Road. It was so quiet and peaceful – the growing wheat on one side of me echoing the movement of the river on the other, the birds singing raucously, the occasional glub of a seal disappearing into the water. I was transported back to earlier, happy childhood moments of pulling grass seeds from the tops of long grasses, flinging those little sticky dart thingies at a friend’s cardiganned back. But then I had to smell my hand again. And POP. Happy memories were gone.
I’ve been reading a “challenging”book and it’s very uncomfortable. It’s got me thinking about the effect a Christian presence can have. We are called to be salt and light, the little bit of yeast that works through the dough and changes it completely, the aroma that permeates everything wherever we go. That’s not a suggestion Jesus makes, or an add-on option we can choose, that’s our entire raison d'être! That is so exciting to me! I get so fired up and engrossed in discerning God’s will, I’m filled with so much energy and so many great, creative ideas … but always I am aware of the ‘stink of sin’ calling to me … and I always find myself taking a whiff eventually (just to prove it's still gross).
Perhaps I expect too much. I’m supposed to be transformed in Jesus so I expect to remain consistently transformed. But life is so very cyclical – new babies look like old people (sorry – but they do), and return to that same state eventually; buildings decay, are renovated and immediately begin the process of decay once more; relationships break down only to enable others to develop. I suppose the point is to keep going. It’s not like impermanence negates value.
Ok, I’m off to rub my left hand all over with a lemon. Perhaps that will be a more long term solution. A temporary fix is still a fix!